Face-Off: A He Said/She Said Interview with Two Important Hubbers

De Greek (DG) arrives first, cutting an impressive figure down the hallway. Hair perfectly windblown, untucked black turtleneck knit shirt under an undeniably masculine jacket despite the color houndstooth pattern, he takes the deep velvet Armani lounger next to me and within seconds, he is explicating his taste in women. "Well," he says in a perfect English upper-class accent, "I really like all sorts of women, and… "

He stops and noticeably stiffens at the sight of Teresa McGurk (TM) (watch Ms McGurk enter a room and you get the picture). "Hel-loooo," he bumbles, half-standing and managing a slightly confused smile. "You’re early."

Ms McGurk, in a denim outfit topped off by a hint of a smile, takes the Barcelona chair to my left and says "We haven't got the whole day, have we?" She combs her hair with her fingers and puts on her spectacles. I notice that she's sitting like a violinist, her back is not touching the chair. Well now, somebody's ready for a bloody face-off.

Research shows that writing across all media (books, newspapers, movies etc.) is male-dominated. Why is that?

TM - Is that still true? Wow, I guess it is. Well (impish grin), we have to let men think they excel at something, I suppose.

DG - Talent is shared amongst the sexes, but traditionally the male has had the ear of the world, while the female has been ignored. A typical example here on Hubpages is Nellieanna, whose poetry is brilliant, yet remains unpublished.

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

TM - Yeah. I can do dialogue and set the scene, but often the overall story is the biggest challenge—once I know what is going to happen to the characters, I can get bored. Also, getting older has tested my belief in myself as a writer. It’s difficult to push myself if I don’t believe the outcome will be a real contribution to that pool of writing we call literature.

DG - Yes. Keeping the reader awake.

Who is the most significant writer/author in the last decade? The most overrated?

TM – (Arches both eyebrows…and does not answer)

DG - I have not read any new great authors who might have materialized over the last ten years. John Irving is the most modern exceptional author I can think of and he is enviously good. The most overrated one for me is probably the most successful: Stephen King.

What do you like to write about and how would you describe your style?

TM - (Lowers both eyebrows into place) I like to write about how big this thing called life is, and how incomprehensible and rich and challenging. My style is a stilted attempt to approach the grandeur of that.

DG – Being a person of no talent, I naturally write about myself. I would describe my talent as bumbling.

What makes a good writer?

DG - How the hell would I know?

TM – (Clears throat, with one eye on DG) A mixture of discipline and desperation? A willingness to edit until it hurts? And a desire, perhaps, to share a wonderful truth, beauty, or discovery with anyone who will read.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

TM - Everything to do with writing interests me, from pens and pencils to long afternoons revising notes. Reading Winnie the Pooh taught me that writing is important, and reading everything since then has shown me how vital the written word can be.

DG - Yes, by writing business letters and trying to score points on those who were trying to score points against me.

Do you have a "dream" writing project?

TM - Yes! I want to write tv shows—science fiction!

DG – Yes, to write a book about my life in novel form, only it’s too unbelievable.

Aside from writing, what are you really good at?

TM - Idling. Being lazy. I am supremely good at sloth. Seriously.

DG - Writing is simply another thing that I am bad at.

What are you currently reading?

TM - Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs.

DG – Pygmalion.

Biggest turn-on?

TM – Intelligence.

DG - Witty repartee.

Biggest turn-off?

TM – Malice.

DG - Nit picking discussions.

What's the biggest burden of being your sex?

DG - (Suddenly jumps on the question rather excitedly) Who said that it’s a burden?

TM – I need to go to the loo. (Stands up) Excuse me.

What animal best represents the opposite sex?

DG – (Looks discreetly at TM who's navigating her way to the rest rooms) The cat, what else?

The opposite sex should be…(DG cuts me off)

DG – ...less masculine.

…and more…?

DG - Feminine.

What's the question you always wanted to know about the opposite sex but afraid to ask?

DG – Shall we wait for Ms McGurk?

Uhm…let’s not. I’ve been prepped that you’re on a tight schedule today so I’ll probably detain her after all the questions have been asked. So…?

DG – Alright then. Women have always answered all possible questions before I asked them.

What's the question that you dread to be asked by anybody from the opposite sex?

DG – (Flashes that famous smile) It would surprise me pleasantly if anyone from the opposite sex managed to think up of a question to cause me dread.

After a few, with a fresh faced TM back on her Barcelona...

Let's play some games. Let's start with a little Yes or No game. Premarital sex?

TM – Yes.

DG – Yes.

Capital punishment?

TM – No.

DG – No.

Female papacy?

TM – Yes.

DG – Yes.

Long-distance relationship?

TM – No. It’s an oxymoron.

DG – No.

Prenuptial agreement?

TM – No. Another oxymoron.

DG – Yes.

May-December affair?

TM – Yes yes yes yes!

DG – Yes.

Home-grown marijuana?

TM – Yes.

DG - No.

Retirement home?

TM – Yes.

DG – Yes.

Euthanasia?

TM – No. Unless voluntary, of course.

DG – Yes.

Word association. Let's start with...Shakespeare?

TM – Word-fire.

DG – Genius.

Lady Gaga?

TM – Gag her.

DG – Moron.

Church?

TM – Ladies with hats.

DG – Money.

Parenting?

TM – Fright.

DG – Responsibility.

Money?

TM – Mystery.

DG – Church.

Blogging?

TM – Endless.

DG – Communicating.

Hugh Hefner?

TM – Aged heffalump.

DG – Overdoing it.

Internet?

TM – Research maze.

DG – Blessing…for a time.

Oprah Winfrey?

TM – Powerful heffalump.

DG – Success.

Neighbors?

TM – Smiling.

DG – Support.

Wallis Simpson?

TM- Gloves and elegance.

DG – Charm.

Politics?

TM – Pointless prattle.

DG– Stealing.

Marriage?

TM – Pointless prattle.

DG – Second time lucky.

Coffee or tea?

TM – Cofeee in the morning, tea in the afternoon.

DG- Both.

Leader or follower?

TM –

DG – Leader getting off the Titanic. Follower attacking enemy lines.

Lights on or Lights off?

TM – Both.

DG – Off day time. On at night.

Einstein or Michelangelo?

TM – Both.

DG – Gandhi.

Movies or theatre?

TM – Theatre.

DG – Theatre.

Evolution or Creation?

TM – Evolution.

DG - Evolution.

Electronic or print?

TM – Electronic.

DG - Electronic.

Down by the sea or up in the mountains?

TM – Either, as long as it has a view of the other.

DG - Up in the mountains, with a swimming pool.

Why are you on HubPages?

TM - It is a great venue for instant feedback and a good outlet for creativity. The occasional check is a bonus, but not the real reason I write.

DG - No one else would have me.

What do you love and dislike the most about HubPages?

TM - The HP community is very engaging. I’ve “met” so many wonderful Hubbers—serious source of intelligent human interaction.

DG - What’s to dislike? I have made wonderful friends here, who have actually lied skillfully about the quality of my writing.

What makes you follow a hubber?

TM - Good writing and a sense of humor.

DG - Talent combined with their humanity.

What kinds of hubs do you skip reading?

TM - Commercial or promotional stuff.

DG - Technical ones.

Have you ever lied in commenting to a hub? Why?

TM - I don’t know! Probably—perhaps we all lie, sometimes? To encourage and empower each other?

DG - The De Greeks are like Washington. We cannot tell a lie.

Content- and style-wise, what's the marked difference/s between male and female hubbers?

TM - The men tend to be taller.

DG - Women are so much better at poetry.

Why that alias?

TM - It’s a family legend. Teresa McGurk was a name made up by my mother to tease her mother-in-law.

DG - What alias? I AM Greek!

The sit-down concluded after three hours which seemed much longer due to the numerous digressions from both hubbers which, sadly, my editor deemed either non-Adsense friendly or flaggable. Alas, I was not able to delay TM's departure after the last questions was answered, she had to go to the pharm. And urgently, too. However, she promised to answer the questions she missed if I email them. I did.

PS I have yet to hear from TM as of press time. The other day, I got a call from DG asking me if I have already received the autographed postcard of himself that his agency sent.

"Born and raised in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Educated in Belfast and Glasgow. Employed in Madrid; Hamamatsu, Japan; Columbia, SC; and Beaufort, SC. Retired by a river. Tolerated by cats and dogs. Fed by literature, music, and light. Enchanted by ideas and engrossed in making words work. Spent a semester at law school when I was 51, and loved it. Now in the sunshine in the south of France."

"For those friends who are planning to visit me in Greece after I move there, this is to inform you that I have just returned from a two week scouting trip to that country. You will be pleased to know that my expectations have been surpassed. I knew I was on the right track when the beautiful lady at Avis understood my humour and even responded in kind."