how do you mend a broken heart? easy.
70Breakups are a messy affair, specially for the jilted. Being jilted is as close to a near-death experience one can get without being self-destructive. On the other hand, the heartbreaker, no matter what they say, will always have the easier time after the relationship. So to the one left in the lurch, unfortunately, it is you who needs help. But as luck would have it, I have come up with tips and practical advices on how you can, pardon the cliche, move on.
Burn Bridges (And Pictures, Too)
Before you come hankering after your ex in a moment of weakness, delete the email address and the emails, delete the mobile number and the text messages and yes, burn the pictures. Believe me, this will ultimately save you from embarrassment when you get "Who is this, please?" as a reply to your message that says "Hi" (with smiley). As for the pictures, they will only serve as reminders of how your ex blossomed, while you degenerated, during the relationship. And imagine the space you can free up in your laptop.
Selective Amnesia
This is not for you, selective amnesia cannot be self-induced. This is for your friends who know you fell to the bottom of the pit. Threaten them with FO (Friendship Over) if they as much as mention your ex's poodle's name. If somebody persits, keep to the promise you made. It will show them you mean business and they will have no choice but to talk about it behind your back. At least you're not there to hear.
Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Pronto!
There's no better time to avenge yourself than now. If you procrastinate, your ex might forget about you sooner than you think that eventually your revenge migth not make an impression. And where's the point in that? Besides, poetic justice can sometimes take a long time to happen, if it happens at all. As for what you should do as the vengeful jilted one, only you know what should hurt your ex the most without going Fatal Attraction-ish.
No Return, No Exchange
I did not say burn all the stuff that will remind you of your ex. Only the pictures, they have no resale value (unless they are moving pictures of a particular, uhm, genre). Keep the ring, the undies, the sweater, the book, the whatever until you find a buyer on Ebay. Not only will you rid yourself of unwanted souvenirs, it could even spell the opening of a new career path.
deja vu?
Single? Mingle!
The post- breakup period is the best time to become a social butterfly. Why? Well, as much as you try to mask your emotional state, your eyes will betray you. So don't fight it and instead make it your weapon of choice. Go to the swingiest bars and chill spots known to man and wear your vulnerability, susceptibility and need like a badge. This way, you won't need to be more proactive than you need to be for they will surely flock to you like moths to a flame (remember, misery loves company).
Get a Mirror
Now look closely. You were probably so into that lost relationship that it's only now that you realize that grunge fashion is so 90s (hello?!). So before you mingle tonight, love yourself a little more, treat yourself to lunch, do the things that you planned doing before your ex waltzed into your life with his/her own version of the Ten Commandments. Remember, too, there's a thin line between looking vulnerable and looking like you need medical attention.
Postscript
A reminder to my broken hearted reader, although these advices have been thoroughly and time-consumingly contemplated upon by yours truly, with the unsolicited help of an elderly spinster aunt, they are not tried and tested in real life. But if you see wisdom in them and decide to give them a go, please let me know if you're successful so I could have them patented or copyrighted, whichever is more appropriate. Don't bother me if you're not. I am busy mending a broken heart.
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Transition bf? as in on the rebound? hahaha good for you, there's no better distraction! Sine you've apparently decided that a reconciliation is the farthest thing from your mind, it's time for Plan B. Make yourself a Goddess! And since you now hold all the cards, it's up to you when he can see you. By the time you're at your most glorious, see him - but make sure though there's nary a morsel left from that uhmm "feelings" - and make him regret bigtime! Beauty is the best revenge! :D
oh yeah! I heard Aiko Melendez said that quote, "Beauty is the best revenge". He actually asked to see me for a formal break. But hell no! He said enough already and whatever he has to say to me, doesn't matter anymore.
Tell him that a formal break at this point in time is moot and academic. I mean what's the point? But i'm really glad you've managed to overcome :D
Love the way you write Cris - great hub!
Just noticed you're from Manila - visited years ago and loved it :)
Thanks Shalini - it fattens the heart :D
I thought this was a serious blog but I enjoyed it!!! ;)
i'm glad you did! i enjoyed writing it! thanks for posting a comment! :D
I think I had a broken heart, once(Ha!) and I recovered from it by listening to alot of gangsta rap and lifting weights. My friends however, as you mentioned, some ten years later still enjoy informing me of the latest news and current events of my high school girlfriend. I usually end up ordering a shot of tequila as I listen and sayin' to myself, ah f** her! But it seems just like yesterday, aahhhh.
you know i can always delete your comment above (bad for the image! LOL). it always seems like yesterdady when it's the holiday season, to quote you: "the mental ghosts of Christmas always wake up as the hour approaches" :D
leave me alone, I'm trying to forget already!
aah so it's the one that got away, huh? and it's only now that you're trying to forget? oh well, you know what they say about first loves! LOL
Better to be rid of them before you get married to them and end up gettting divorced and giving her the house.
or you can always refer to that Shakespeare quote you keep in your back pocket! (sorry i happened to stumble upon one of your ramblings!) and just so you would know, sourgraping is unbecoming of a certifed "hunkster"! peace V
Love this hub!!
Tootles!!
glad you liked it! thanks for passing by :D
This was great! Many smiles! Thanks!
That's nice to hear Tom! thanks for dropping a line :D
Mending a broken heart is certainly hard to do, but your tips and humor make it seem like it's not so bad after all :)
My first true love really broke my heart when he ended our relationship. However, I stayed friends with him, and we are friends even now. It was difficult initially, but I try my best to stay friends with my exes. Many of the qualities that made them relationship material in the first place, still remain, even when things don't work out, so no point wasting all that good stuff :)
Aya
Thanks for sharing your experience here. I appreciate the honesty. :D
It is so good that when hearts are broken you cannot find the pieces because they are still whole and beating, simple waiting for the opportunity to get washed and shine again to glisten and sparkle in the sunlight now as hardened diamond made perfect through the compressed experience of lost , appreciative of the new awakening of another new found love.
juliet
Wow I couldn't have said it any better than you did! Thanks for dropping by :D
Very good handling of a serious stuff, Cris! I had a good laugh after reading this hub. If I had read this 10 years earlier, I could be laughing and crying at the same time.
By the way, congratulations for that hubber2hubber interview of you by Pam. You definitely deserve the special attention here at hubpages. As president of the Cris A Fans Club (hehehe)I am proud of you, my friend!
France
Why sound serious when hubbing about a serious matter? I don't readers feeling miserable after reading! LOL
Thanks. And I am honoured by your friendship :D
Good read. Really. Helps you get through those days where you wouldn't mind having a heart attack.
Glad you enjoyed my effort at making light of something that, at some point, we take way too seriously. :D
A broken heart stays broken. We just have to grow a new heart. Trust me. Ahahahahaha!!!
Or have a transplant! But growing one would be cheaper - okay I trust you LOL
ahhh....i love the breeze that rustles thru the trees. . .but no . . you cant stop the rain from falling down . . and so we mend . .and we go on and when we see a beautiful sunset. . we never forget . . and so it is the scar that stops the bleeding. .and it there to so that we remember . if we didnt know sorrow how would be know joy . . no growing new hearts and no transplants. . we understand that change is inevitable and things are the way they are meant to be . .its all a test. . nothing more nothing less.. peace love and understanding = wisdom.. the only true cure to mend.
shari
I agree, it's how we see things or how we choose to see things in the now that makes the difference. And then later, we'll just realize well, I survived that and have moved on. And yeah, there's a duality to everything - black and white, happy and sad, love and hate - and we can't have one without the other.
Thanks for reading :D
Ok. Ouch, ouch, ouch, that's not me, ouch, and ouch. Ah, memories. Nice hub on a sensitive subject, maestro! :D
Still in denial? LOL Thanks Jess, glad this brought back memories - bitter though they may be. :D
Brilliant writing Cris! I made the mistake of burning everything, including the ring! :( I could have been a couple of hundred pounds richer now! tut. Enjoyed this hub, great work! :)
Haha Now you know better! Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading and commenting :D
Great Tips. Funny too.
Hope you've gotten over your broken heart now.
Ps. Its nice of you to help Dohn121 with the Revenge Project.
Regards.
Yes, I always do! As if I have a choice! Haha
Twas my pleasure helping dohn as I like doing those sort of stuff.
Thanks for reading :D
Soooo funny :-) See what I meant about your talent, when I responded to one of your comments ?
No - I'd have to go back to your hub first! But I have a feeling it's something good what you said :D
This one is nice and thoughtful although humorous! =) I just love it. Thanks for sharing. May I include the link of this hub on my hub about mending a broken heart? Thanks! =)
By all means! And you needn't have to ask - what are friends for anyway :D
Thanks Cris... although I have done my request without waiting for your reply! lol! Thanks for considering me as your friend... =) tc!
I have no problem with that, it's extra "marketing" besides! Haha :D
Hi, Cris - your hub is awesome and your selection of videos even more so.
It's not easy to find humor in depressing situations but you have managed to do so. Cheers.
Being depressed in a depressing situation is like being hit with a double whammy! Haha Thanks for reading and commenting :D
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sheenarobins 3 years ago
Oh Gosh, Cris! I love your hub. I got to laugh at the first capsule, "Burn Bridges ( and Picture's too). I was dump a few months back I wrote my own healer hub here in Hubpages but somehow I found out that he still affects me in a way. When I run into his friend with my transition bf (bad girl :)), I thought about him. I erase the text message, the contact numbers, the email address and ym but sh*t the retard still sends me some useless stuff on my email. I ignored them after crying over it. I never want to give him the satisfaction that I still think about him. I'll get over it in time.